Alright, it's day three! I hope that yesterday was a good start to a loooong journey of shadow work and healing your inner child. Realizing that you have an inner world is monumental. Opening the door to your inner world is life changing.
Last night I was doing the prompts myself and had a pretty big breakthrough. The habit/belief that I'm working on is my reckless spending habits and my belief that I can't control it. I was doing the prompts and really trying to figure out when it started and where it stemmed from. I was meditating on this and a memory popped up of being in college. My parents gave me $100 a month for living expenses. They thought that would be enough money, but it totally wasn't. I would go DAYS without eating food or just eating a $1 burrito because that's all I could afford. It was an extremely stressful time and I felt like a failure for not making the $100 work. I eventually talked to my parents about it and they upped my monthly allowance which helped, but I think it put my brain into survival mode.
I eventually dropped out of college and jumped into the work force, but I was REALLY poor. Like, I was living WAY under the poverty line. At one point, I had to sell some of my clothes just to buy my cat a bag of food. I ended up getting my first salaried writing job and was finally making enough money to meet my basic needs, plus some extra spending cash and boy, did I go crazy. It was like I had been starving for YEARS and finally got some food to eat and just went crazy, and I don't think I've ever quite moved away from that mentality. When I get paid, it feels the same way it did when I got my first good job. I feel like the money is going to leave at any moment and that I need to buy things now or else they'll disappear. It's almost like my brain goes into binging mode as a survival tactic.
I've never been able to pin point my bad spending habits literally until last night. Like, it was a GAME. CHANGER. Finally figuring out the root of the problem was huge, and now I'm ready to heal it.
So how DO we heal it? Well, it starts with having compassion and love for that version of you that was in distress. For me, it's having empathy for that girl that just couldn't make ends meet, who was trying SO HARD to be a responsible adult but just didn't have the means to do so. I remember how low I felt selling my clothes to get cat food. I felt like I had failed my cat and was failing to provide for him. But in reality, I never let that cat go hungry. I ALWAYS found a way to make things work. Which brings me to today's challenge.
There are positive beliefs we have about ourselves and negative beliefs that we have about ourselves. Both can be true, but which belief we cling onto can make a huge difference. For the longest time, I believed that I was a failure for not being able to make things meet. I felt like it was a personal flaw. But now that I have compassion and empathy for my past self, I can now see that I was really strong and resourceful and never gave up. Those are all things I should admire in my old self. And I'm choosing to change the narrative to heal that old me and see her as brave instead of weak.
Now it's your turn to change the narrative. Download the sheet below and take the time to mesh this new belief with your daily manifestation.